


to teach a misanthrope

by afrocurl



Category: Daria (Cartoon), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Charles You Will Be Drunk, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-11 22:03:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afrocurl/pseuds/afrocurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daria found someone - her roommate's brother, naked and sleeping - she wasn't expecting on a Sunday morning.</p>
<p>Too bad finding him left her with a ruined day and the smell of sex in her room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	to teach a misanthrope

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a fusion square on a trope-bingo mini-card for amnesty and betaed by **ninemoons42**.

At precisely 10 AM on that Sunday morning, Daria woke as she always did.

Drinking the night before: up at 10 AM. Staying in and watching a movie with her roommate Raven: up at 10 AM.

Some truly cruel fate had befallen her and now there was just no way to get around it. So, she carefully moved out of her bottom bunk, letting Raven sleep off last night’s hangover, and walked into the other room.

However, Daria had to stop when she caught sight of Raven's older brother, Charles, sleeping on the floor.

Naked. A pile of muddy clothes was scattered over the rug that they used while drying from the shower.

This was going to require an explanation. Turning on her heel, Daria walked back into their bedroom and hissed, “Raven, why is Charles naked on our floor and why didn’t he get back to his dorm?”

Raven mumbled something, then put her head back against the pillow.

Instead of walking back and having to stare at Charles’ ass or dick before Raven woke up, Daria went back to bed, grabbing her copy of _The Best of Sick Sad World_ so she could pick up where she left off.

There were at least another two hours until Raven properly woke up.

*

She'd read the best three chapters when she heard a knock on the door. She knew better than to try and wake Raven again, so she got up, walked over and carefully pulled the door open.

Charles stared sheepishly back at her, with his hands trying to cover his dick. It didn’t work too well with the morning wood.

“Can I get something to wear?” he whispered.

She nodded and walked over to Raven's closet to look in the piles of clothes scattered within. All she found in the top drawer were Raven’s underwear and one pair of Hello Kitty girls' boxers. She tossed them and Charles and went back to her bed.

He could figure out what to do from there.

*

Faintly, she heard rustling in their other room, but tried her best to ignore it. Daria had her own limits to how much of Charles’ boundless energy she could tolerate on a good day. Today was not a good day.

But knowing that he was sitting at Raven's desk, wearing those shorts, gave her an idea. She walked back out and sat at her desk, turning on her computer as she did. Doing her best to ignore him, Daria sent a quick email to Erik saying:

_Your boyfriend is in my room and he was naked until a few minutes ago. I think you need to collect him._

_Raven’s not up yet, so you have time before we leave for brunch._

_For this you owe me, Lehnsherr._

*

Her front door was nearly broken down by the force of Erik’s knock. Charles was closer, and he quickly pulled Erik in before Erik could wake the entire floor up with his anger or his protectiveness.

“What the fuck happened, Charles?”

Charles just shrugged, which wasn’t a good answer for Erik.

“Raven didn’t tell me when she let him in last night at 3 AM. I vaguely remember she said something and made him strip. Ask her when she’s up,” Daria said before she went back to looking at her computer for something to do.

There was only so much time she could spend in both Charles and Erik’s company before she went a little nuts. Erik, she had learned, she could handle well enough. But when Erik was next to Charles, he was a different guy.

Instead of being stoic and gruff, Erik was besotted. It made Daria wish she had met Erik without knowing that he was attached to Charles at the hip, even if Charles was Raven’s older brother.

At least she could play Snood and hope to ignore the two of them intertwined on Raven’s chair.

*

With only twenty minutes left for brunch, Raven finally woke up and walked into the room. Daria had moved on from Snood and was trying her best to blendinto the wall. Charles and Erik had moved from murmuring besottedly to each other to making out.

Erik had been more than vocal about how much he appreciated the fine pink shorts that Charles was wearing, and it was far harder than Daria imagined to forget Erik’s words. She tried, though, for her own sanity's sake and her very low threshold for lovesickness.

“Thank G-d you’re up. We’re leaving,” Daria said before dragging Raven out by one elbow.

Daria waited until they were out of their dorm before speaking again. “Your brother and Erik together are so much worse than Quinn with her friends could ever be.”

“You don’t have to tell me. I've been around them since I was twelve, except for two years.”

“Were they always that bad?” she asked, hoping that there was some reason for why they were so bad.

“Not at first, but then they got over being modest.”

Daria couldn’t think of anything else to say and so she said nothing.

*

Brunch was quiet, especially since Raven was still half asleep. After watching Charles and Erik, that suited Daria fine, though being in the same room as those two meant that she was now at least an hour behind on the reading that she needed to do for tomorrow.

However, just as they were ready to walk into their room, the entire floor heard, “Just keep those on. I never want to fuck you without them again.”

Erik’s voice was distinctive enough and Daria knew well enough what Charles was wearing to know what Erik meant.

“Do you want to drink now or later?” she asked Raven before they walked down the hall.

They wouldn’t be able to get into their room, without seeing an eyeful, for a while.

*

It took longer than Daria ever wanted to admit to get some of the smell of sex out of their room.

For all the trouble - and lack of work accomplished - Daria knew Erik was going to owe her. Again.

She sat down, careful to mind the towel near her desk that still smelled faintly of sweat and semen, and wrote Erik another email.

_You two both owe us something for that stunt. Don’t think Raven’s going to forgive Charles so easily, either. We had to sit in Amy’s room for an hour before we started to clean up after you two._

_I’ll name my price when I can think without smelling you two all over the place._

_Daria_

It wasn’t a perfect email, but it would do. She now had four hours left to do about ten hours of reading.

Hopefully her bullshit skills hadn’t diminished from the smell of cleaning solution.


End file.
